To: Paul LePage, Maine’s gov
Subject: Your taste in art
Oh, Paul, you moved too hastily.
Your discomfort with that 36-foot-wide mural recounting Maine’s commie-pinko history…er, labor history…rates sympathy, but there is a solution that should satisfy everyone.
Your spokeswoman, Adrienne Bennett, made a valid point when she told The New York Times: “The Department of Labor is a state agency that works very closely with both employees and employers, and we need to have a décor that represents neutrality.”
We heartily concur that Judy Taylor, who created the mural, got hysterical in saying, “I don’t agree that it’s one-sided. It’s based on historical fact. I’m not sure how you can say history is one-sided.”
We’re surprised you have not dubbed Taylor one of those “idiots” who protested the mural’s removal or instructed her to “kiss my butt” as you suggested to the NAACP some weeks ago.
Lynn Pasquerella, upset about your regard for the late Secretary of Labor Frances Perkins, went into a temper tantrum as evidenced by her March 30 letter to the Times. Pasquerella is president of Mt. Holyoke College, Perkins’s alma mater.
She wrote: “Perkins, who is buried in Maine, also had deep roots there. She is an extraordinary role model for girls and women seeking inspiration in a world that needs more female leaders. Moreover, she sets an example for the political figures of today as to how service to our nation’s working people must always be at the core of our national enterprise.”
That last line was a jab at you, Paul, considering these wild accusations that you do not care about ordinary people.
In case you are as forgetful as you are idiotic - your enemies’ attitude, of course - let’s backtrack.
First, you ordered the removal of this mural which documents Maine’s labor history in the reception area of the state’s Department of Labor building in Augusta, and then you ordered it removed to a secret location - all because business executives might feel uncomfortable there.
Perkins is drawn in one mural conferring with some of the women and children whose lives she helped improve as secretary of labor under Franklin Delano Roosevelt. After graduating Mt. Holyoke, she would go on to witness the tragic Triangle Waistshirt fire in Lower Manhattan and, as Pasquerella points out, aided Roosevelt “in bringing about landmark reforms like the Wagner Act, the Fair Labor Standards Act and Social Security.”
You also ordered renaming a number of rooms which are already named after Perkins and other labor figures.
Some balance is needed that calls for a two-step solution. Retrieve the mural and re-display it. Then, display an alternate artist’s rendering that your business associates will appreciate.
Got it! A huge portrait of a shark on any wall nearest to the labor mural. That should make your corporate friends more comfortable, especially their lawyers.
Let’s carry this further. At the state’s Ethics Commission, we can set up a huge photo of Richard Nixon when he flung his arms in the air before boarding a helicopter.
At your business development office, we could display a massive white whale to reflect the flabby, contented nature of business leaders, who are presumably mostly white, and it would be in keeping with nautical themes tied to Maine.
No lobsters, of course. We don’t want anyone to see red.
The Waste Management office can be decorated with notes containing your quotes and your photo can hang at the Maine Developmental Disabilities Council.
As a periodic visitor to Maine, I would think that displaying any mural anywhere in Augusta is the most effective means of concealing it from the world, and perhaps from the rest of Maine. Augusta is hardly the attraction we find in Bar Harbor, Camden, Portland, Ogunquit or Sebago Lake. Should the mural be displayed at the Labor office once again, Augusta will likely be a must-see draw for many tourists.
If you don’t like it, Paul, you can kiss my butt.
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